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Original Trip Report on Lycaeum
Recently, I was scanning through some ancient journal-files I had written in my larval stage of development while back on the home-planet. One amusing and informative entry I encountered dates shortly before the Omega point, when I was still programmed with all kinds of terrestrial and adolescent belief-structures. I share it with you here as a candid portrait of innocence and youthful discovery.
-------------------------------------------------------------------"Finally, I obtained a small sample. The best scale I could find was a jewelers balance that could weigh down to 50mg with accuracy. I weighed out this amount of the small, tan-colored crystal needles and poured it on the surface of a piece of mirror. I proceeded to divide it into "lines" with a razor blade, as one does with cocaine (if the movies portray this accurately). After a few minutes of eyeballing and nit-picking the needle thin lines of 5-MeO, I was satisfied that they were as fair and even-handed as they were possibly going to get. I cut one of the lines squarely in half with a razor blade, and that yielded me what I hoped to be approx. 5mg of powder.
I scraped this onto a rectangular piece of aluminum foil, as wide as a ruler and about 6" long, that had a crude "spoon" fashioned into one end to contain the powder better than a flat surface. I felt the urge to smoke it then and there, but intuition told me to wait and prepare myself properly.
"This is not going to be like casually taking a hit of hash"- a reasoning voice reminded me. I did some hatha yoga poses to help calm my mind and ready it to receive any "information" that may flash through me. I sat on my bed and did what seemed to be a bout 2 minutes of controlled breathing (pranayama), but I didn't feel like I could wait any longer.
I was ready to try 5-MeO. My concentration broke, and I found myself getting up to shut off the lights and unplug the phone. I picked up clothes and papers lying on my floor, it's always nice to have an orderly place to come back to. I lit a stick of the inscence, the scent I use for my most powerful magickal workings. I put some of my favortie DEEP psychedelic music on low volume, on my CD player. The Orb - (Live '93) "OOBE"
I sat half-lotus on my bed and took 9 more deep breaths to ease me back into a state of pseudo-meditation...my mind was too excited to be genuinely still. For the 10th breath, I gracefully lifted up the foil and an adjustable push-button lighter set on a low setting. Click. Sizzle. I chased the dragon, and inhaled the luminescent-looking vapor through a thin plastic tube. I sucked and sucked until I felt like I got it all. I thought something like:
"Here I am....Mr./Mrs. Tryptamine....I'm ready for you to do your thing.....I'm a virgin -show me your splendor...thanks!"
- before I felt my conceptual mental activity come to a grinding halt. I felt an alarming awareness of *something* dawning on me, much like the first few seconds after inhaling Nitrous oxide. I carefully set the straw and foil down, and noticed my whole room seemed bright & ...hmmm..... boiling with intensity?
"5...4...ignition...3....2.....1....*static* We have..liftoff!"
As I exhaled, my taste network registered an deliciously exotic sensation that I can describe as some kind of hybrid between futuristic plastic and grape Skittles candy. My taste sensation faded from my awareness as quickly as it dawned. I heard the sound of a Rocket-launching-into-space, roaring through me. Suddenly, I could not longer hear the sound or conceptualize the rocket, for I *was* the sound and the rocket and the space it was traveling though - simultaneously. There IT was. Automatically, my body snapped erect like a serpent, coiled up and striking. My body felt like it was the main conductor-cable for the same power company that is in charge of keeping the stars lit- Universal Power & Light, Co. I did my best to be a super-conductor, offering as physical/psychic little resistance as I could.
The Tibetans call this state the Clear Light. My tiny conscious mind and the sum of all minds had an "important business meeting" that all humans experience at some time or another. I realized that this was a very important meeting, and that it deserved my undivided attention and focused concentration.
I saw faint, translucent mandala-like patterns spiraling outward into infinity. Did I see "visuals"? God Almighty, YES! I saw the most profound "visuals" I have ever seen in life. White, bright, clear, humbling and infinte..All That Is. It was different, however, than the kind of "retinal circus" patterns of open eye visual "eye-candy" than can be experienced on high doses of psilocybin. It was awesomely bright and profound, with no Second Bardo "visions" to distract one from the Light.
"Remember to breathe......" some bit of psychedelic training in the back of my conscious whispered to me. By the time I had this conceptual thought, the primary Clear Light contact had been broken. I breathed rhythmically and encouraged my consciousness to expand back outward into Infinity. This worked for a while, until my next thought sneaked back in and grabbed my attention..without me noticing what had happened.
For those of you familiar with the 8 limbs of yoga described by Patanjali, the state I found myself thrust into seemed like "Dhyana". Aleister Crowley describes this magnificent and unexpected phenomena as:
"a flowing of the mind in one unbroken current from the ego to the non-ego without consciousness of either, accompanied by a crescent wonder and bliss". He also describes this state with the metaphor - "The normal mind is a candle in a darkened room. Throw open the shutters, and the sunlight makes the flame invisible".As my connection to my body and thoughts were reborn, I looked up at the stick of incense that I had lit before. The solid objects of the room seemed to be crystal clear, pulsing and throbbing with fantastic vital energy. I noticed that a ray of clear noon sunshine was streaming thought my blinds and illuminating the incense smoke. It poured off the stick sensuously, in intoxicatingly-beautiful ripples and waves. I felt like I could see the individual particles and depth of the cloud of smoke billowing away into the air. it struck me as more profound and "psychedelic" than any mass-level phenomena I have ever seen with open eyes on LSD/psilocybin at any dosage.
I stared at the matrix of 3-D, "living" smoke completely hypnotized - until I noticed after a few amazing minuites- it looked like normal smoke once again. I noticed my body_tactile_sense networks felt incredibly enhanced and amplified, and my vision seemed incredibly sharp and clear like it does on LSD. I looked down at my bare mammalian feet and legs , and they looked very bizarre and amusing.
I felt sexual feelings awakening in me, but I recognized them for the "trap" that they were. Not wanting to get reborn on an animal-sexual level, I got down on my floor and did some easy yoga poses. After a while, reeling with energy, I got on my bike and went for a bike ride, experiencing the whole world as a playground of beauty and joyful delight. I saw a fairly elderly man rollerbladeing with a walkman and lots of safety gear on, and I smiled at the consciousness of youthful enjoyment he still appeared to dwell in.
After about an hour and a half, I was at what you could call a very happy, awed and humble baseline.
All I can say about 5-MeO is it may be the most powerful psychedelic known to man at this point in our evolution, based on the common ones I have had the blessing to experience. I would not recommend trying it unless you are willing to undergo a "tryptamine transformation", and have a deeply religious experience. Yes...this means YOU! Yep, that guy smirking in the back too.
I suspect that when you try 5-MeO, you permanently lose your innocnce (ignorance?) and "virginity" to certian profound psychic levels of awareness.
The change is blissful and humbling to those who are prepared, and are capable of remaining calm and impartial throughout the Death-N-Rebirth experience. For the unprepared, there is no turning back! No human alive is immune to the feeling of Divine Creation squashing you with fear.
I have found Leary's "translation" of the Tibetan Book of the Dead, "The Psychedelic Experience", to be a flexible and fairly-infailable guide to remaining aware and conscious in high intensity states like the high dose-LSD or any 5-MeO ..phenomena. I recommend its study to anyone with a genuine interest in experiences like these.
I would think 5-MeO use would be most imprudent for the non-"experienced" person, or in any mental state or physical setting where doing a "thumbprint" of liquid LSD, or eating 5 grams of indoor p.cubensis mushrooms would be result in an inappropriate experience."
-------------------------------------------------------------------How noble-sounding and innocent! If only I had possessed the faintest inkling of what the near future held in store for my soul and the planetary life-experience......
-Phase Two,
10/2/31Created 8/14/2000 15:16:15
Modified 8/14/2000 15:16:15