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today, a young woman on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one conciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves... now here's tom with the weather...
Tired of waiting for NASA or some other agency to take you to space? Then join the Association of Autonomous Astronauts - 10 years of independent space exploration programs.
Here is a video of their recent snatch of the Sojourner off the surface of Mars.
The following is a transcript of comedian George Carlin's(my all-time favorite comedian), poem/rap/cool-as-shit thingy that he performed on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on 11/15. It is impressive to read, and I wish I could post the video. Keep in mind, Carlin read this at an almost breakneck pace.
"I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!"
~George Carlin, a comedic genius and poet extraodinaire
According to the worlds leading experts in artificial intelligence, the singularity is scheduled to occur today at approximately 5:45pm PST. They are recommending that everyone get their affairs in order quickly, and only pack those items they'll need to get them thru until the Singularity has uplifted everyone, which should occur shortly after 5:45pm.
According to Dr. Beeblebrox over at the Self-Augmenting Intelligence Institute, a Yudkowsky Seed AI was initiated at 11:59pm PST last night at the Institutes ultra-secure research facility in Palo Alto. The super-secure quarantine conditions of the facility was not to keep people out, but to keep the seed-AI in. However, according to internet security experts, the seed AI unintentionally escaped through its triple firewall, and has already compromised 80% of the worlds connected computers. How it was able to go from an isolated system to the larger internet remains unknown.
The 5:45 timeframe of the singularity is an estimate based on the Institutes previous simulations. They expect chaos to insue for the remainder of the day, but not to worry, as the benevolent seed-AI should come to the rescue before things get too out of hand. This is assuming of course that every single line of code in the seed AI is perfect, and that their benevolent algorithms were coded accurately. Only time will tell.
In other news, Google announced it is interviewing candidates for engineering positions at their lunar hosting and research center, opening late in the spring of 2007.
However, now that the singularity is imminent, Google has said it is suspending any hiring and economic expansion until this whole "singularity thing" is sorted out.
UPDATE: Due to overwheming demand, the Singularity will be delayed by one hour, so that those wanting to finishing watching the latest Buffy episode can do so.