Thank you so much for posting this Paul.

I should mention, that since this incident, I have talked to three different friends (none of which know each other), who had made the same step around the same time.

Yesterday, I went out on my land, to explore. And never before has the earth's beauty been so exhilarating and salient! Every time I used to go spend time in nature, I felt I needed to smoke something, or take something, to really get 'the full experience'. But i was shocked at the wonder I found yesterday. Wandering through the oaks, I almost cried when I saw the sun shining through the canopy, illuminating a pond I had never seen before. Love was everywhere!

:)

finally flowering...
Nick

you're nuts......you just need to take more to trip harder!!!

AJ - you have it backwards - you need to trip harder.

There comes a point when you take enough psychedelics you realize they can't teach you anything more than what's already available right here, right now. I've been repeating this mantra from the beginning. Psychedelics are great door openers and tools for ones personal growth. There comes a point as in my case, and clearly Nicks, where these tools become a crutch one uses to suppress emotions and avoid taking the bigger, more meaningful leaps.

I had similair thoughts the first time I took LSD.

Wasn't the last time though.

I continue to take psychedelic drugs - not because I consider them a useful step on the path of enlightenment - no, I used to be that foolish but not anymore, nah, I use drugs to have fun. I don't have to use them everyday, or any time I want to have fun either, I can have fun without them. I can have fun without icecream, I still have fun.

And I still make steps towards personal goals like enlightenment. But I spend a lot of my spare time wondering how naive and selfish I am when it comes to these things. How could I want enlightenment so badly without realizing that I'm not alone and my efforts are pointless as long as I stick to this whole "personal enlightenment" charade.

Please forgive me, I'm just an ignorant, naive, teenager that likes to have fun.

Maybe my "fun" is the dionysian ecstsacy preached about by many pagans across the interweb (as far as I know, I have not met any of these people face-to-face) but I doubt what I'm experiencing is anywhere near to what they preach so vehemently and seriously.

More thanks for posting this. Incredibly, I took the very same step today. This poem is truly inspiring.

As long as you don't start proclaiming that you need Jesus, or Sai Baba, or some other guru, what you wrote is fine. Unfortunately, many people stop taking psychedelics and then end up in some new age or hindu community, completely missing the point of genuine spirituality.

You mentioned taking psychedelics in nature. Have you experimented with high doses of psychedelics in absolute silence and darkness?

Love, love, love, yes, nice to mention love, and yes, you can love without psychedelics, but also with. Taking psychedelics is not in any way anti-love.

It seems your approach to psychedelics and shamanism was misdirected in the first place, so you stumbled into a bad trip (that's what you get every so often when you don't take them in silence and darkness), and now you've become another preacher of "you don't need psychedelics."

My feeling about your poem: silly and sentimental.

Ivar

I sort of understand where the author of this verse is coming from, but I tend to agree with Ivar. It sounds like perhaps he came through a rough patch (perhaps a bad trip, and/or problems with friends and family), and is so grateful to be past it that he felt a need to announce to the world his "outgrowing" of psychedelics. I've heard this song before.

The whole notion that one takes drugs, learns some great spiritual lesson, and then therefore doesn't "need" them anymore is predicated on the notion that they were taken for spiritual reasons to begin with! Not saying that a spiritual reason is not a valid reason for using these drugs, just not the only reason.

Perhaps, as one reply above indicated, some folks simply take them for "fun" (whatever that means :-), or perhaps, for some other kind of learning. Or just to take a brief vacation, as it were. To understand better how the world works, or at least one's own head.

Here's another way of looking at it: I love backpacking in the Canyon country of the American Southwest. I've been there many, many times over the years, and enjoy it immensely and learn something new about the place and myself every time. I've had lots of fun, and some scary times, too. And more than a few sublime spiritual moments. Should I renounce going back there, simply because I've "been there, done that?". Have I "outgrown" it? Of course not - it's an endless source of delight, learning, lessons, refreshment, etc. for me. And I don't do it because I "need" to, I do it because it is rewarding in all those ways.

So, I hope Nick is content. He claims he's achieved some sort of "salvation" (whatever that means :-) by quitting psychedelics. These drugs are not for everybody, nor at all points in their life - nothing wrong with backing off temporarily or permanently. Some people do indeed get stuck with them, and perhaps "should" back off.

And I certainly agree with him that at the end of the day, it's all about Love, one way or another. His poem could have ended after the 5th line.

Cheers,

- roebuck

Thanks for all the input!

Remember, that each person ultimately decides what's right and wrong for himself. If you feel psychedelics can still offer you something, right on. Everyone's doing their own thing. I just found, that psychedelics began to keep my mind off "what's already available right here, right now," as Paul put. They made me distance myself from the people I love. This poem was not written out of guilt, or fear.

Ivar, I want to emphasize that I'm not trying to preach. I just hoped that this could help out people who were in the same place I was, with the same feelings I had. Yes, I have taken entheogens in absolute silence and darkness. Taking them in this method really forces you to deal with personal issues, and I am 100% positive, that had I done it this way every time I took psychedelics, I would have reached my conclusion even earlier!

I didn't have a bad trip...In fact...I can't recall ever having a better one!

I used to call the people who claimed psychedelics weren't necessary the 'entheogen elitists'. I felt it was just another group of pepole with a desire to demonstrate superiority over what they considered a foolish culture. Not so. It's so easy to play the victim and say 'the man' is keeping me down. 'The government' is holding us back from change. But when people say this, I think its really themselves that lose.

Ivar, if you don't mind me asking. What do you gain by continuing to take these? What is it still doing for you? I am certainly convinced I am a better individual for using them. I'm also convinced that I'm better off for stopping their use. Psychedelics gave me lot's of good realizations, helped me make lots of great connections and ideas. But I found that as I continued to take them, it kept me from putting these findings into practice. I think we all agree that psychedelics have therapeautic potential. But isn't the ultimate goal of therapy for the patient to not require it any longer?
Please, I'm not attacking anyone or any belief. This prayer was mostly written for myself, and my friends who I wanted to help make the same step.

Roebuck - yes i know my poem could have ended after the fifth line...but I like to be loquacious ;)

fuj - I am very happy for you!

thanks again for your comments everyone
:)

Nick

"Roebuck - yes i know my poem could have ended after the fifth line...but I like to be loquacious ;)"

I feel your pain - I suffer from the same condition :-)

Let me just say that I don't consider my use of psychedelics to be "therapy" at all, such that when I'm "cured", I don't need to do it any more. It's more along the lines of the adventure/vacation thing I spoke of in my post above. I surely don't think in terms of "mission accomplished", or seeking some final salvation or anything like that.

Do I need these things? No - 9 out of 10 psychonauts agree: Love is all you need :-)

But, as always...

Whatever floats your boat!

All best to you Nick...

- roebuck

i think its cool that you have come to this conclusion ... and obviously anyone to disagree with this conclusion is just wanting to argue for some unknown reason ... but i think once and if you have love and are conscious in it and around you and so forth ... there is always the spirit that wants to fly as well ... maybe the love is the mother,nature,heart ... the spirit is the father,god,infinity part that needs to fly .... , but still needs to warm its bones beside the fire from time to time , who knows ;-)

... and now for some reason, or another , Jiva packs a bowl full of salvia 20x and tells the wife he'll be back in a little while , hes going on a fishing trip in the stars ...

RIGHT ON NICK! I love you. It's good to know another person has found truth in love! I'm gonna go smoke a bowl... lol!

Ivar, you made an interesting point. You said:

"It seems your approach to psychedelics and shamanism was misdirected in the first place, so you stumbled into a bad trip (that's what you get every so often when you don't take them in silence and darkness)".

Exactly why should this prevent a bad trip? I know this was Terence Mckenna's "model" for psychedelics but for what reason?

despite the fact that i can agree with the sentiments of this poem and can read between the lines and see that you're not demonising entheogens i don't think that would be clear to the casual reader.

also why say you don't need psychedelics? why not you don't need attachment, fear, violence or hate. psychedlics have had a bad enough rap without somebody who has had positive experiences denouncing them.

yes love is the key. "all you need is love" but i've found that my use of psychedelics enhances the love i already feel, it connects me on a level which i could not maintain at all times, for the simple fact that it would be immobilsiing.

also you mention life as being vital but the psychedelics most of us endorse are plants, organic living matter and have just as much a part of the natural system i love as anything else. so why should we deny them?

i respect your decision to stop using them and like i say agree with your sentiments. though i do believe that your "i've found the answer it is love, that's the end of the story" is a little premature. your life hasn't ended yet and there are many more subtleties and interpretations to uncover.

for a paralell what about yoga or meditation? would you start a practice such as this then go "oh yeah it's all about love, i get it" then give it up and go back to your workaday existence?

sorry to go on like this because like i say i agree, love is the centre of it all but it is precisely out of love that i use psychedelics and see your poem at most a little too final and possibly a little damaging to the reputation of beneficial, life enhancing entheogens.

peace, joy and most of all love.

Hehe... I'm not saying YOU shouldn't use psychedelics...Just saying that /I/ don't think /I/ should anymore. In fact, for people that have never taken them, I would even recommend they try it. This poem was a very personal outcry. I just felt like, in /my/ life, psychedelics were /preventing/ me from demonstrating love to it's fullest degree. I used to meditate quite often, but since I had started using psychedelics, I never wanted to meditate without taking a psychedelic beforehand. It was such a great shortcut, I never wanted to try anything on my own. Needless to say, this was not beneficial to me. The enviornment I am living in at the moment is no doubt different than each of your own environments. I know, that for me, in my environment, psychedelics can offer me nothing more (except maybe some dionysian fun as HalfThePants mentions ;).

"your life hasn't ended yet and there are many more subtleties and interpretations to uncover."
An excellent observation nowist!
I know I can and will discover these without the aid of psychedelics. Will I be better off for it? The verdict is still out on that one.
If I know the mushroom, I am positive it can speak to the person that consumes it. The mushroom was telling me I didn't need psychedelics anymore, and I knew I had been approaching this decision for some time. I don't think I've ever made a decision that felt so...right. It's hard to explain really.
Perhaps some of you will have this same realization? Perhaps not.
I encourage you all to approach your own journey with vitality, enthusiasm, wonder, and most importantly, love.

Hey,

Not to be rude Nick, but if love is all you need then also give up television, coffee, alcohol, nicotine, sweets, games of all sorts, sports, etc . etc ...
It seems to me that the psychedelics weren't necessarily the problem, but your psychological addiction to their effects was. I fully support your decision , however, your poem seemed a little preachy. Can you tell us what other things, if any, have you also given up. Peace .................

Um...I don't drink coffee, don't drink alcohol, and I don't smoke. Never really played sports at all (except a tossing of the occasional frisbee ;-).

"It seems to me that the psychedelics weren't necessarily the problem, but your psychological addiction to their effects was"

This is probably true :[ . I had intended these drugs to be a spice in my life but they quickly became the main course. Is this my fault? Mostly, yes. The writing of this poem /was/ probably a little premature as it was done while coming down off the drug (if anyone knows the mushroom, it can be the equivalent of getting cornered, and subsequently raped, by truth ;). I stand by my decision for now, and only time will tell if it is a good one...

As for other things I have given up?
Irritability, fear, paranoia, detachment etc etc...
:)

I apologize for any 'preachiness' in the poem.
It was not intended.

love and light
Nick

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
-Rumi

hi nick

thanks for the clarification on your poem. also if the mushroom spoke to you and told you not to take it i think it's best to listen to the mushroom.

i did understand that you weren't saying everyone should stop using psychedelics but that it was a personal choice and applicable to you. still as i said to the casual reader it might not be apparent.
so thanks.

the use of entheogens is not for everyone. in tribal societies there is often only one or two shamans. it is not the path for everyone or for that matter the majority. but the mushroom has spoke to me and his asked me to be its instrument in comunicating to the world.

i can choose not to be feel honoured and so go gladly down that path. i hope that the path you follow is a joyful, spiritually enriching one.

thanks for the clarification friend.

DEFINE LOVE LIKE YOU DEFINED THE REST.Your definitions of your experience leads me to believe you learned very little.This is not negative or positive observation.But the danger of getting arrested and humiliated in jail and court and all the rest remains.You can not chooose my path I dud not give you that right.