Singularity Scheduled for Today

According to the worlds leading experts in artificial intelligence, the singularity is scheduled to occur today at approximately 5:45pm PST. They are recommending that everyone get their affairs in order quickly, and only pack those items they'll need to get them thru until the Singularity has uplifted everyone, which should occur shortly after 5:45pm.

According to Dr. Beeblebrox over at the Self-Augmenting Intelligence Institute, a Yudkowsky Seed AI was initiated at 11:59pm PST last night at the Institutes ultra-secure research facility in Palo Alto. The super-secure quarantine conditions of the facility was not to keep people out, but to keep the seed-AI in. However, according to internet security experts, the seed AI unintentionally escaped through its triple firewall, and has already compromised 80% of the worlds connected computers. How it was able to go from an isolated system to the larger internet remains unknown.

The 5:45 timeframe of the singularity is an estimate based on the Institutes previous simulations. They expect chaos to insue for the remainder of the day, but not to worry, as the benevolent seed-AI should come to the rescue before things get too out of hand. This is assuming of course that every single line of code in the seed AI is perfect, and that their benevolent algorithms were coded accurately. Only time will tell.

In other news, Google announced it is interviewing candidates for engineering positions at their lunar hosting and research center, opening late in the spring of 2007.

However, now that the singularity is imminent, Google has said it is suspending any hiring and economic expansion until this whole "singularity thing" is sorted out.

UPDATE: Due to overwheming demand, the Singularity will be delayed by one hour, so that those wanting to finishing watching the latest Buffy episode can do so.

Posted by paul at April 1, 2004 01:51 AM | TrackBack